Hello fellows, please provide me some feedback on my IELTS writing in regards to grammar, vocabulary, cohesion and task fulfillment. Thank you you all in advance. Here is the topic:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of using animals to test the medicines invented for human use? Discuss and state your own opinion.
In recent years, the issue about animal right has garnered great attention from the society. Whether animal testing should be banned or not is still being debated by many people. Both the advantages and disadvantages of using animals in experiments for inventing medicines for humanity will be discussed in this essay before a reasonable conclusion is drawn.
First, the critics of the idea of using animals in testing medicines argue that non-human animals are living organisms like human and also they share the same place to live with humanity, so they should be considered as non-human persons and members of the moral community. Animals are hence believed to have the rights of not to be owned or not to be subjects in experiments. In addition, the researches that used animals as subjects to be tested are often criticized for enthanising most of the animals after experiments. They are also believed to provide out-of-date data which lead to misleading information and the medicines used on animals can not always be applied safely on human. This is therefore, animal testing is argued to have great disadvantages on both humans and animals.
On the other hand, the advocators of animal experimentation argue that using non-human animals in testing medicines has brought extreme benefits to human lives and is playing a very important role on many fields of researching. These supporters rely on the fact that virtually every discovery in the 20th century is resulted from animal testing and thousands of lives have been protected from dangerous diseases by medicines which were tested on animals. Moreover, until now even sophisticated computers are unable to model interactions between molecules, cells, tissues, organs, organisms, and the environment, making animal research necessary in many areas.
In conclusion, although animal testing has several certain drawbacks, it is believed to bring undeniably important benefits to humanity. It is hoped that there will be more awareness about the lives of animals to protect them from illegal hunting and being poorly treated.
naruto i see that u always help other friends to correct their essay well.. of course u will come up with a good essay.. i will just give my opinions and if m wrong, do correct me..
- animal rights
-Whether animal testing should be banned or not is still being debated by many. (i think people can be omitted here)
-First, the critics of the idea of using animals in testing medicines argue that animals (i took out non-human)are living organisms like humans and (they share the same place with us to live) also they share the same place to live with humanity, so they should be considered as non-human persons and members of the moral community.
-therefore, animal testing is argued to have great disadvantages on both humans and animals.
-.... very important role IN many fields of researching. These supporters rely on the fact that virtually every discovery in the 20th century is A RESULT OF animal testing and thousands of lives have been protected from dangerous diseases by medicines which were tested on animals.
In conclusion, although animal testing has (USE EITHER ONE) several / certain drawbacks, it is believed to bring undeniably important benefits to humanity. ( i would say : in conclusion, although animal testing has certain drawbacks, it brings tremendous benefits to humanity)
It is hoped that there will be more awareness about the lives of animals to protect them from illegal hunting and being poorly treated.
(since this has nothing to do with the topic being discussed which is animal testing, perhaps u can omit it. its like u r introducing new points)
I appreciate your help Sangeetha Govinden. After seeing your comment I think you were Right.
I like the way you correct my conclusion
"in conclusion, although animal testing has certain drawbacks, it brings tremendous benefits to humanity." this sentence is clear and easy to read.
I think you should try to sum up the MEANING of the essay in a single sentence, and put that sentence at the end of the first paragraph. Add that THESIS STATEMENT to the end of the first paragraph.
Animals are hence believed to have the rights to not be owned or not to be subjects in experiments.
...every discovery in the 20th century is the result of animal testing, and thousands of lives have been protected from dangerous diseases by medicines which were tested on animals.
I just made a few small changes. You will do well on that ietls test, I think! The quality of your English is great, leaf ninja.
Using Animals for Testing: Pros Versus Cons
There are many pros and cons to the practice of animal testing. Unfortunately, neither seem to fully tip the scale to a side that pleases everyone – including the general public, government and scientists.
Pros or Postives of Animal Testing1. Helps researchers to find drugs and treatments:
The major pro for animal testing is that it aids researchers in finding drugs and treatments to improve health and medicine. Many medical treatments have been made possible by animal testing, including cancer and HIV drugs, insulin, antibiotics, vaccines and many more.
2. Improves human health:
It is for this reason that animal testing is considered vital for improving human health and it is also why the scientific community and many members of the public support its use. In fact, there are also individuals who are against animal testing for cosmetics but still support animal testing for medicine and the development of new drugs for disease.
3. Helps ensure safety of drugs:
Another important aspect to note is that animal testing helps to ensure the safety of drugs and many other substances humans use or are exposed to regularly. Drugs in particular can carry significant dangers with their use but animal testing allows researchers to initially gauge the safety of drugs prior to commencing trials on humans. This means that human harm is reduced and human lives are saved – not simply from avoidance of the dangers of drugs but because the drugs themselves save lives as well as improve the quality of human life.
4. Alternative methods of testing do not simulate humans in the same way
Scientists typically use animals for testing purposes because they are considered similar to humans. As such, researchers do recognise the limitations and differences but the testing is done on animals because they are thought to be the closest match and best one with regards to applying this data to humans.
Cons or Negatives of Animal Testing1. Animals are killed or kept in captivity:
In animal testing, countless animals are experimented on and then killed after their use. Others are injured and will still live the remainder of their lives in captivity.
2. Some substances tested, may never be used for anything useful:
The unfortunate aspect is that many of these animals received tests for substances that will never actually see approval or public consumption and use. It is this aspect of animal testing that many view as a major negative against the practice, as it seems that the animal died in vain because no direct benefit to humans occurred.
3. It is very expensive:
Another con on the issue of animal testing is the price. Animal testing generally costs an enormous amount of money, as the animals must be fed, housed, cared for and treated with drugs or a similar experimental substance. On top of that, animal testing may occur more than once and over the course of months, which means that additional costs are incurred. The price of animals themselves must also be factored into the equation. There are companies who breed animals specifically for testing and animals can be purchased through them.
4. Animals and humans are never exactly the same:
There is also the argument that the reaction of a drug in an animal's body is quite different from the reaction in a human. The main criticism here is that some believe animal testing is unreliable. Following on that criticism is the premise that because animals are in an unnatural environment, they will be under stress. Therefore, they won't react to the drugs in the same way compared to their potential reaction in a natural environment. This argument further weakens the validity of animal experimentation.
Personal ChoiceWhile there are numerous pros and cons of animal testing, the ethical aspect overshadows both of them, which means that emotion may be the ultimate determining factor in whether a person believes the benefits of animal testing outweigh the problems associated with the practice.
For more information about the ethics of animal testing on this site, read the following features:
1. The controversy of animal testing
2. Medical treatments that have been found as a result of animal testing
3. Medical trials on humans.
External ResourcesRead around the subject at external sites - here are two very good resources:
The BBC education page on animal ethics
The Government legislation relating to animal testing
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